From steroid-using athletes to celebrities who bounce between clubs and rehab, today\u2019s role models can leave a lot to be desired.<\/p>\n
It seems the greater the fall from grace, the greater the fame \u2013 or infamy. What\u2019s a parent to do?<\/p>\n
Teens and pre-teens are particularly susceptible to celebrity overexposure and the media because they\u2019re at the stage in their lives when they are trying on identities and need to feel accepted by their peers.<\/p>\n
Mimicking the stars in behavior or dress is part of that transfer of attachment from parents to peer groups. In other words, it\u2019s part of growing up.<\/p>\n
But how much is too much? Do you say yes to the belly-baring mid-drift, but no to the navel ring?<\/p>\n
Our counselors at Youth Eastside Services often hear from parents wondering just where they should draw the line. One mom, who was lobbied by her 8-year-old daughter for thong underwear, considered buying them so her daughter wouldn\u2019t feel left out.<\/p>\n
Hello! Whose values are we teaching here?<\/p>\n
I know the pressure on parents can be intense from kids who want things because all their friends have them. We want our children to fit in, so we cave.<\/p>\n
Believe me, advertisers know this, too. Young \u201cconsumers\u201d are increasingly the target of messages, images and even products that are beyond their years.<\/p>\n
As part of our dating-violence prevention program, we will have teens go through magazines, cut out ads and ask themselves, \u201cWhat is really being sold here?\u201d<\/p>\n
Young women, in particular, get the message that they have to be sexy and desirable to have power. Girls will tell our counselors that to be attractive, women have to be blond, thin and large-breasted.<\/p>\n
Young men also have their share of body-image issues. We\u2019ve seen boys who have developed eating disorders in their quest to look like their sports heroes.<\/p>\n
While it may feel like you\u2019re trying to plug that proverbial dike with your finger, you can help your son or daughter see beneath all the gloss and glamour, whether it\u2019s a poor celebrity role model or a jeans ad.<\/p>\n
Get them to reflect on what makes them feel good on the inside: achievements, interests, helping others. And take advantage of those teachable moments to encourage some critical thinking: \u201cWould you rather have people like you for who you are or for what you look like?\u201d<\/p>\n
Of course, even with all this dialogue, your daughter may still want to get her eyebrow pierced or dye her hair orange.<\/p>\n
Before you say no, remember that parents get a limited number of \u201cdraw-the-line-in-the-sand\u201d cards before their child mounts an all-out rebellion.<\/p>\n
Ask yourself: \u201cIs this a safety issue?\u201d If not, you might want to skip this battle and allow them their experiment in self-expression.<\/p>\n
That doesn\u2019t mean throwing your values out the window. In the long run, those are the values your kids will return to, even though they don\u2019t appear to be listening right now.<\/p>\n
\u2018Parenting\u2019 is a monthly column in Reporter newspapers by Patti Skelton-McGougan, executive director of Youth Eastside Services. For more information, call 425-747-4937 or go to www.youtheastsideservices.org<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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