Some parents today are faced with the tricky situation of adult children returning home to live with them.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Because of the economy and different generational parenting styles, it’s become even more common to find multigenerational households. This topic and navigating parent and adult-child relationships is the subject of a new book by a Kent mental health counselor and author.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Linda Herman’s book, “Parents to the End,” will be on store shelves Jan. 1.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
She will make an appearance at retail store Coldwater Creek in Kent Station for a special book signing event from 10 a.m. to 1 p.m. Saturday.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Herman, who privately practiced for 18 years, also was a school psychologist and is a parent to two adult sons.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
“This just kind of felt near and dear to me because of my work,” she said of the subject matter.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Herman asserts that generational differences in parenting styles of baby boomers and the Depression era generation have left boomers ill-equipped to handle their adult children.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
With research and real stories, she looks at issues such as post-adolescent parenting, parental guilt, separation and individuation, the temperament and environment of adult children, substance abuse and severe behavior problems to name a few topics.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
In helping her clients, Herman realized there weren’t many books out there with practical solutions to help parents take a balanced approach to helping their adult children.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
“If there was one word that I would have to describe what I wanted to do in the book, it was really reassure parents,” Herman said. “You can get through these things.”<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
She feels that baby boomers are even more of a resource to their adult children than the previous generation and have to understand their kids and their own boundaries with their kids.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Also important is understanding the natural developmental process and where children come into adulthood.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
“It’s taking longer now,” Herman said of the process. “All kinds of signs point that way: the economy, the fact that kids have had parents who are more involved in their lives.”<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
That can be a great thing, she said, but often makes the separation step harder.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
She’s seen a lot of anxious parents concerned about how their kids are doing and strained relationships. A lot of parents come into her office saying that their adult children feel entitled and they don’t know how to stop giving them things.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Adult children were expecting their parents to help them with everything from traffic tickets and medical bills to down payments on houses and expensive shopping items.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
“My generation really differed from our parents because they were Depression era and they couldn’t help us financially,” Herman said.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Parents today have more resources and other factors such as the rise of “Pop Psychology” and the self-esteem movement have created a different dynamic, she said.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
“The saying at the front of the book or epigraph was don’t handicap your children by making their lives easy,” Herman said. “And, I felt that’s kind of a strong statement, but we have to be careful not to do too much because it’s actually disempowering.”<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
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