Attack of the Moles!<\/p>\n
I wish this was some bad movie title, but it isn\u2019t. My backyard is looking like an adolescent boy\u2019s face, with mini craters popping up everywhere.<\/p>\n
Along with my Labrador\u2019s unwillingness to use indoor plumbing, and her penchant for building her very own poopapalooza tent city, our lawn has turned into a minefield. I would like to immediately move, but my wife has decided against it.<\/p>\n
I can\u2019t get rid of my dog; she is just doing her job which is to do her business outside. And business is good. So I started to focus my anger at the moles.Little burrowing mammals that have no qualms about ripping up my sweet green grass in order to well, do what moles do. I looked it up. Moles feed on earthworms and other creepy crawly bugs and take out certain varieties of pests that are bad for the flowers.<\/p>\n
This I don\u2019t care about. They do much more damage than they prevent and it\u2019s up to me {the man of the house} to stop them. First step, I heard garlic down their hole would drive them out. I tried fresh, minced and whole garlic before I stopped short of serving them nice Chianti with dinner. It worked for about a week before they came back.<\/p>\n
Mole bait didn\u2019t work either. They simply dug new holes, making this a game of \u201cwhack a mole.\u201d<\/p>\n
I tried fans that create a noise in their tunnels. Now along with feeding them garlic I am creating a nice breeze for them as well. I remember when I worked for a golf course in the 1980s. We used to sit by their hole and wait for them to pop their little heads out before giving them a 12 gauge \u201csay hello to my little friend.\u201d Since I have an aversion to go to jail for any reason I decided that discharging a firearm in the city would not be practical.<\/p>\n
I am the man of the house .There is no way this little lawn wrecker is going to get the best of me. So I did what every man should do in this tense situation. Call a professional. When the mole guy came out to set the traps I was swift enough to notice it wasn\u2019t a guy but a 24 year old woman. She set the traps and came back in two weeks to see the results .Two little moles about 6 inches long{I didn\u2019t get a real close look} were in various stages of rigor mortis. She asked what I wanted to do with them. Mounting them on my wall is out; I thought .So I did the only thing I thought was appropriate. I threw them over my fence into the neighbors\u2019 yard. Why should I have all the fun around here?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Attack of the Moles!
\nI wish this was some bad movie title, but it isn\u2019t. My backyard is looking like an adolescent boy\u2019s face, with mini craters popping up everywhere.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":234,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[],"yst_prominent_words":[],"class_list":["post-18443","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-opinion"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kentreporter.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18443"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kentreporter.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kentreporter.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kentreporter.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/234"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kentreporter.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=18443"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.kentreporter.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18443\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kentreporter.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=18443"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kentreporter.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=18443"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kentreporter.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=18443"},{"taxonomy":"yst_prominent_words","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kentreporter.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/yst_prominent_words?post=18443"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}