I woke up this morning feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders. I even tried to get an extra hour of z\u2019s, but to no avail. I realize I really don\u2019t have the weight of the world on my shoulders, just a small portion, and certainly no more than anyone else, and probably much less.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Still all those nagging things woke me up. Many trivial things were running through my mind, like picking up and cleaning house. The more important things that ran through my head were things like coordinating my family\u2019s schedules so everyone is where they need to be when they need to be there. But added to it is the typical mom duty of making sure everyone has finished what needs to be finished before they go where they need to be.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
It sounds confusing when I say it out loud, but it probably isn\u2019t as confusing as it sounds. So I got out of bed, got my coffee and sat on the couch to write down everything that was waking me up. Some of the things were as simple as finding the date of an event. Other things I had no control over, but I felt better just acknowledging their existence.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Oddly enough for me, some of the fixations were about cleaning house. I never clean house alone, but my kids\u2019 school and homework really messes up my ability to rely on extra help. Throw in my husband\u2019s weekend overtime and it all boils down to having to clean the house on my own.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
That in itself was enough to wake me up. If I don\u2019t clean the house on the weekend, I\u2019ll have to look at it all week and who knows what next weekend will bring. I just have to buckle down and do it myself.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
There are added complications too; my kids and my mom are working on two big costume making projects and yesterday the gravity of getting it them done in time for the anime convention really hit me. I now need to be extra diligent in figuring out some times when they can get together and work on these projects besides Sundays.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
I was talking to my mom last night, thinking my oldest daughter\u2019s costume just needed to be sewed together, when my mom mentioned the other pieces that needed to be figured out besides the body. There\u2019s the breast plate, the tail, feet and hood needed to complete her Pok\u00e9mon costume. I already knew my youngest daughter\u2019s costume was complicated as she still has to stitch the dress and cut out and stitch a jacket and vest.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
To be quite honest with you, I really don\u2019t want this information in my head. I\u2019ve got other things to worry about besides costumes, but I know at some point I will be required to work on this, possibly by myself while they are at school. I also am coordinating our church youth group\u2019s Living Stations of the Cross. More coordinating, more planning, more fuss.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
I know I sound like I\u2019m whining and I am. I don\u2019t mind being busy and there are people who are much busier than I; but it\u2019s not my forte. I\u2019m good at coordinating people\u2019s lives, but I really don\u2019t like it, mostly because it wakes me up on weekend mornings before I wish to be awake. And waking up worrying does not a pleasant awakening make.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Yesterday I went for a walk in the morning and came home all enthused to clean the bathrooms and floors. I decided to blog about how I was enthused about cleaning the bathrooms and floors, so I sat down at the computer. I made the mistake of checking my email first. There was an email from our Mortgage Loan officer about our refinance. So I spent the next two hours reading papers, trying to decipher what our next step would be and printing the information for our files. Needless to say when I was finished I did not feel like cleaning the bathrooms or the floors.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
I\u2019m not sure if making the list this morning eased my mind or made it worse. I have things on the list that didn\u2019t wake me up and I hadn\u2019t thought about until I made the list. And as I walk through the house taking care of these duties, I find more things to put on the list. But on the list they will go so thought of it doesn\u2019t wake me up.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
All this in the name of sleeping in.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n