Swine flu and Green River flooding – real threats?

For years now I have operated under the rule that I do not believe anything my government tells me. If my government told me the sky was indeed blue I would have to fact-check this right away by sticking my fat head out the window. Whenever the powers that be address us with the latest potential fear factor, such as killer bees, bird flu and Kim-Jong Il and his ilk, I always take a step back and judge these threats on their own merits, if any.

And now as the threats of swine flu and a leaking dam are hanging over our heads, it reminds me of all these potential disasters that first scare us, then play with our fears, like the bully who stole my yo-yo. Last week.

But which one is a real threat and which one is a perpetrated “Blair Witch Project,” designed to keep the hospitals full and people scared to pick up a phone without dowsing it in Lysol?

First, I know of no one who has swine flu. I work in retail, when not fighting the comma wars, and I have met no one who has had any contact with swine flu. I shake a lot of hands during the day, get coughed on repeatedly, and generally get treated like a Petri dish on a daily basis. This brand of flu seems a lot like what we used to call recruit crud in Navy boot camp. Whenever a number of young people get together in a small space like schools, or boot camp, viruses multiply and affect everyone. We all got sick in boot camp, but we lived with it, and it eventually goes away. I have heard that some colleges around the country have had outbreaks of this flu, but its threats that it is deadly are just not so.

But the threat of more flooding this winter by a leaking dam has me more concerned than a potential case of the sniffles. This is a nearly 50-year-old dam that has some serious issues to it. Since this dam is only four years older than me, I can relate to its problems of not being able to hold back as much water as it had in the past. After that bladder odometer kicks over after 40 years, leaks can and will happen. (“Depends” undergarments come to mind.)

Second, my government is not trying to snow me on this one. The reason I know is the Army Corps of Engineers trying to repair this dam has said many times that they don’t know about the flood situation until we have one. Which is an honest answer, if not the one we want to hear. The worst answer we could have is “government assistance is on its way.” Then we know we are in big trouble.

Swine flu and a leaking dam are the potential disasters for this winter. One can be fixed by tissues, two days of daytime television and two bowls of chicken soup. The other may not be fixed and could cost the citizens of Auburn, Kent and Renton millions of dollars in lost revenue, lives and homes. Yep, I quit believing what my government tells me years ago. But now the only time I pay attention is when they say they don’t have an answer. Then I know they are telling the truth.