Do you ever have one of those “Wow, I can’t believe it used to be like that” moments? I was watching the 1980s movie “Black Widow” a few weeks ago. Debra Winger plays a reporter, and her boss is in the office massaging her shoulders at her desk, while asking her when she will start dating him. I was thinking to myself that there were about six different workplace violations in that one scene.
When I started as a police officer, we had dispatchers in a certain room, and whenever you would walk in, the cigarette smoke in the air would gather and hang about three feet down the ceiling. Twenty minutes spent just talking in that room was the equivalent of smoking five cigarettes vicariously.
Here’s one more example for you. When I was a high school resource officer, I vividly remember the students, both male and female, whose lives were impacted by bullying over who they were: unpopular, looked different, didn’t have the money to get certain clothes. It may seem a little quaint to think that anything could be that serious in high school, but it was. High-school students sometimes take things very seriously. A break up with a boyfriend, or bullying, or what we would consider temporary problems can result in permanent outcomes, like suicide. We have all heard a lot about teen-suicide rates, and the intensity of feelings we all had in high school is one factor.
Nationwide, there has been a rash of suicides of young gay students. The bullying and pressure they felt became too great, in their minds, to continue to live. That intensity of feeling and the hothouse atmosphere of high school can create a really difficult environment. This is one of those times where I hope we will soon be able to say, “Wow, can you believe it used to be that way?”
To get there, we need to provide some level of support and encouragement to students who feel pressured, or different, or bullied. A national movement has grown from an idea started by Dan Savage, a columnist for Seattle’s The Stranger newspaper. It’s called the “It Gets Better Project” (www.itgetsbetterproject.com). The message for students is that there is a big world out there that is highly accepting and tolerant. President Obama even taped a video message for the project.
Kent City Council President Jamie Perry mentioned the idea and the project at our most recent Council meeting. Her message was that the straight community also has a responsibility to be deliberate about our message that it is never okay to bully, or pressure, or degrade any person, including and especially young gay people. Preventing suicide and providing that support is everyone’s responsibility.
A few critics have pointed out that the “It Gets Better Project” seems to excuse the bullies, and possibly allow them to continue without accountability.
Challenge Day, which is part of a program at Kent-Meridian High School, uses group exercises to create a personal relationship between the cliques that inevitably evolve in any school. Challenge Day breaks down the barriers and miscommunications between the cliques, and creates some of that personal ownership of behavior, drawing connections between all of us.
Why is your police chief bringing this up? The same reason your Council president brings it up. Because it is important, and public safety includes helping young people feel safe and supported in school. If we are aware of the issue and support our young people, hopefully when we remember those that committed suicide, we can someday say “Can you believe it used to be like that?”
Have a great week.
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